01.
Appeal to Wedding Businesses (The Real Thing) (E)
(The
outline of a lecture given in Tokyo to about one hundred business people in
1998.)
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For those engaging in the "chapel wedding" business…There is a crucial decision to be made－a choice between two approaches:
(l) Will we take undue advantage of the "cuteness" or "quaintness" of the church wedding which initially attracts many couples, or
(2) Will we provide for them a genuine experience－the "Real Thing?"
l. A true heart
Two young people are really joining their lives. They are pledging themselves to each other. These are two precious people, two irreplaceable lives. This might be the most important event they will ever experience.
Do we focus on this fact as we accept their money and encourage them toward expensive options? Are we committed to put our whole hearts into their special moment?
What if it were my daughter standing there? Would I want the staff and minister to strive earnestly to make her wedding the most beautiful one possible ?? one with true meaning and deep feeling?
Should the desire to make as much profit as possible be held up as the priority at a time like this?
2. A real minister
One with a true heart.
－Focused intently on the concern mentioned above.
－Feels the conducting of this wedding a calling, a ministry.
One with proper credentials.
－A true, conscious carrier of the Gospel, not an impersonator.
－One who can truly and honestly pray to the living God from personal experience with Him!
－One who is recognized as a Christian minister by a group to which he is accountable.
One with adequate ability.
－Can communicate the meaning of his words with genuine feeling.
－Is well qualified in the language.
－Can create an atmosphere of solemnity and worship.
3. A genuine church setting
The design of the building and its symbols or decorations should represent the Christian church accurately. The sanctuary must not be a place with showy, eye-catching features like a revolving platform and flashing lights.
4. A proper preparation
This means a time of orientation for the couple prior to the day of the wedding
－Where the background and the meaning of the church wedding is explained
－Where the parts of the ceremony, including the vows, are described and their meaning is explained
－Where advice is given on the marriage relationship
5. A suitable amount of time
From 25 to 30 minutes is needed to provide a comfortable setting and a meaningful occasion. An atmosphere of solemnity, thoughtfulness, and meditation needs to be created. The time must be long enough so the guests can relax and assimilate what is happening.
The family and friends must not feel that the time is purposely compressed or that memorized, empty forms have been merely intoned in order to make way quickly for another wedding.
6. Recognition of the building as a place set apart for sacred use.
This awareness is encouraged through one or more special ceremonies:
l. A Christian ground－breaking service
2. A dedication service upon completion of the building
These events assent to the fact that the building is set apart as a holy place where the Living, Creator God is proclaimed and where His voice can be heard by those who want to hear.
Under no circumstances should a Shinto priest or other religious practitioner conduct ceremonies relating to the building.
The Conveyor Belt Mentality!
l. Run as many couples through as possible in order to make as much money as possible.
2. Attract the attention of prospective customers by including "showy" features.
3. Since a "cute" setting is all the couple is expecting anyway, gladly take their money and give that to them.
4. Avoid time－consuming and money－wasting features such as an orientation time prior to the day of the wedding.
l. Don't take advantage of two young people and their families who don't know the significance of a "church wedding" or the meaning of the marriage vows.
2. Don't misrepresent Church and Christian. Don't ignore or withhold the true meaning of these sacred symbols and thus use them improperly for personal gain. Don't use an impostor as a minister, and don't you be an impostor by giving the wrong idea of a Christian church and a church wedding ceremony through improper trappings or procedures.
Why? －－ The spiritual dimension:
The living God does not look lightly on deceit and the misuse of His Name for the sake of making money. He is Creator of the universe and Lord of all. He is also Judge of our attitudes and deeds and He will act toward us as He sees our heart.
Why? －－The practical dimension
The satisfaction of the customer and a lasting relationship can be built only on trust and appreciation for previous services. Should the couple or their family see in other places a more meaningful, genuinely heartfelt ceremony and thus feel that they were deprived of the Real Thing, they will, no doubt, not return with their family members or recommend their friends.
I recognize both the necessity of a business receiving adequate profit for services rendered and the appeal to the couple of the wedding dress and other aspects of "quaintness."
These things are not wrong. We can accept the feelings of the couple at their level of understanding. But we must go beyond their expectations. We must give to them a heartfelt, meaningful ceremony with a proper understanding of the setting and of what they are doing in order to help them form a solid, lasting marriage relationship.
THIS is the REAL THING!
Doyle C. Book December 1997