23. Article for Japan Harvest (E)

 

You Say, “Wedding Evangelism?”  (Or: You Say, “Evangelism Through Weddings?”

 

We are seeing in Japan a phenomenon that defies explanation.  Christian wedding chapels, many of them appearing as full church buildings, are appearing all over this nation by the scores. 

 

"Chapel Weddings" have been growing in popularity in recent years, largely, no doubt, because of the influence of movies from Europe and America and because many public figures in Japan, particularly movie stars, have chosen this kind of ceremony.  However, in recent years the number of couples seeking chapel weddings has been growing explosively.  It is said that in the Tokyo area 60?70% of weddings are now in churches.

 

After 28 years of ministry in Japan, I know of no other method of evangelism that offers so much potential for a clear personal witness to thousands (the couples) and for drawing the interest of tens of thousands (the families and friends) toward the Christian church and, hopefully, its Savior.

 

One fascinating aspect of this trend is that many of the companies involved in the wedding business want to provide the "genuine article" ?? a truly Christian church ceremony conducted by a qualified (ordained) minister.  Many of these businesses are seeking the help of missionaries because of the special appeal created by having a foreigner conduct the ceremony. 

 

Yes, the interest of these businesses is monetary ?? the services they sell along with one chapel ceremony (banquet, honeymoon trip, etc.) might well bring into their coffers $30,000 or more.  Furthermore, it must be admitted that the couples who seek a chapel wedding are not particularly interested in the Christian faith. 

 

How, then, do we evaluate this phenomenon in the context of worldwide missions?  Thelma and I, along with John and Lucille Graybill and many others, are convinced it is a door of unprecedented opportunity that must be entered!

 

The Church in Japan long ago lost its attractiveness toward its society.  Frequently it has been introspective, joyless and ritualistic.  There is little effort within the Church to devise appropriate ways to speak to its society.  Into that void, God Himself is moving to make the Church attractive again.

 

God is building churches with the world's money!  Is it possible that He is preparing these buildings for a coming revival when they will be needed for the sudden influx of people into His Kingdom?  The thought is almost too much for me to contain emotionally!

 

I require an orientation time with the couple some days prior to their wedding.  At the beginning of that time I ask them, both as a matter of personal interest and as an icebreaker, why they chose a "chapel wedding," that is, a Christian wedding ceremony.  The most frequent answers are the desire to wear the white wedding dress, the appeal of that solemn, stately walk down the aisle, the fact that the words of the ceremony can be understood, and the fact that friends also can attend.  None of these things is available in a traditional Japanese (Shinto) ceremony.

 

In a word, the Christian ceremony is beautiful!  It is appealing!

 

The bride?to?be often says that she has wanted a church wedding ever since she was a little girl.  One young lady told me, "I have never linked arms with my father.  I wanted to walk down the aisle on his arm."  Beautiful!  I dare say the heart of any Japanese girl leaps at the sight of the bride in shimmering white walking toward the groom who awaits her at the far end of the aisle.

 

By the way, just before the wedding of that young lady began, I told her father what she had said.  I thought he was going to cry on the spot!  It is very rare for a Japanese man to show emotion of this kind!  Evidently her words really got to him.  Perhaps he realized he had not shown the affection to his children that they deserved.  When this man walked down the aisle with his daughter, I could see that he was still struggling to contain his emotions.

 

Where does evangelism occur in all this glitter?  First, the orientation session mentioned above provides the setting to carefully explain to the couple the nature of the living God who created marriage and gives meaning to the church ceremony. 

 

Second, the ceremony includes an opportunity to speak a message to people who, in most cases, have never been to church before.  Usually at least 40 people are present to hear words about the living God and His plan for our lives.  Sometimes there are 80, l00, or even l20 non?Christians in one service!  And I have conducted three, four, and even six weddings in one day many times!  Thus it's possible that from 150 to 500 non?Christians might hear words of the Gospel on days when there are weddings!

 

But there is another dimension in chapel weddings that I feel is a divine call from God.  It is to try to make the ceremony so moving, so full of meaning, so heartfelt, so lovely in content, that the people who enter a church for the first time will feel genuine delight in their experience.  I pray that they will say, "Wow, church is beautiful!" and be open to attending a Christian meeting again when the opportunity is presented them. 

 

Indeed, perhaps this part of the chapel wedding ministry is even more important than "preaching" a message in the ceremony.  If minds formerly disinterested in the Church can suddenly feel attracted to it through a lovely event, perhaps they will be ready to open further at another time when the Gospel is explained in more detail.

 

Here is where you come in.  You can pray with us that God will capture the hearts of the people through the beauty that they hear and see in their first visit to church.

 

"Are souls being saved?" someone might ask.  Reports of conversions through this ministry are extremely few.  But Thelma declares correctly that wedding evangelism is "pre?evangelism" ?? that is, it is making the first contact with people who have never heard before and have felt no interest formerly in going to church.  How much we need your prayers that this beginning will grow into fruit later!

 

Here the matter of follow-up needs addressing.  Perhaps this can be done in a later article, along with other details of this adventure the Lord has called us into.

 

Japanese people do not readily express their feelings, especially to a stranger.  Thus I am encouraged, and I feel that God is at work, when people approach me spontaneously to express appreciation for the ceremony.  A man apparently in his seventies came to me after a service and volunteered, "This is my first time ever in a church.  I was deeply moved by the Christian wedding ceremony." 

 

Often I receive letters from couples thanking me for a memorable ceremony and saying that all of their friends felt deeply moved, some of them to tears, and those friends want to have a church wedding too!

 

Thelma says, "Tell them that what they are feeling is the presence of Jesus!"  Indeed, that is what we hope they will realize!  Our brief contact with the wedding guests is most likely the very first crack ever in the door of their minds concerning the God who is living and wants to walk with us.

 

Will you join us, and John and Lucille Graybill, and others sincerely trying to make use of this open door for the sake of God's kingdom, in praying that the Holy Spirit will capture the minds ?? and through the minds, the souls ?? of the people in Japan who attend chapel weddings?

 

 

Wedding Evangelism in Japan -- Part 2

 

Strange as the term might seem, evangelism is taking place through weddings in Japan!  Weddings are channels for a witness to the Gospel.

 

As I stated in the previous article, there is first an orientation session with the couple.  At this time, to explain the origin and the meaning of the church wedding, which so strongly attracts them, the concept of the Living God is presented to the couple.  Second, the ceremony itself, including a brief gospel message, expresses to the audience the fact that God is not merely one among many gods but is the Only One.  Third, through a service of beauty and meaning, people who have had no previous interest at all in Christianity are finding the church attractive and, hopefully, will be open to another opportunity to attend a Christian service.

 

This is truly a unique and exciting witness opportunity!  I feel as fulfilled in this present ministry, conducting chapel weddings, as I have felt at anytime in 28 years of ministry in Japan.

 

At times it is hard work!  Recently I had orientation sessions of two hours each on five consecutive days.  On two of those days, the orientations took place after I had conducted three weddings!

 

The orientation time, which takes place from several days to several weeks before the ceremony, gives validity to a missionary's involvement in this ministry.  Although the opportunity to present a brief gospel message during the ceremony is a delight, it is in the informal orientation time that the greatest potential for witness is found.  For here the young people are open and ready to listen to anything that will prepare them for their wedding.

 

In the orientation I use the order of service as a springboard, explaining the meaning of each part of the program.  We practice the hymns with a tape recorder.  At the place of the Bible reading, I explain what the Bible is.  Of course, one can do this only by explaining who God is.  He is the Creator, the only God, alive right now.  We do not exist by chance but are the objects of His creation and His love.  He wants to have fellowship with us, to walk with us in our lives.  I develop this message over about 20 minutes, pointing out to the couple that here is the true significance of the ceremony they have chosen. 

 

I take about 15 minutes to explain the meaning of the vows.  I feel that God has given me an approach that creates in the minds of the couple a sense of the seriousness of marriage, the beauty of the Christian ceremony, and a desire for a true, faithful marriage relationship.  Often I feel excited as I am going through this part with two young people who might have come primarily because chapel weddings are considered the "in" thing or "cute."

 

This first section of the orientation takes one hour.  After a short break, we go to the chapel for a brief rehearsal.  This second part takes 30 minutes.  We return to the meeting room for the final 30 minutes.  At this time the theme is, "Guarantee for a Happy Marriage!"  After sharing a great deal of practical advice, using an orientation booklet that John Graybill created, I return in the final few minutes to the discussion of the Living God.  It is in relationship with Him that our lives can be truly happy and our marriage can find fulfillment.  We can know Him through Jesus Christ.  I share with the couple materials that will help them see who He is.  Then I autograph a Bible, give it to the couple and pray for them.  I also assure them that, although there might be other ceremonies on the day of their wedding, when I stand before them, to me their wedding is the only one, and I will put my whole heart into it to make it beautiful and meaningful. 

 

In my earlier article, I raised the question about follow-up.  This is not at all an easy matter.  Since a wedding chapel is owned by a business organization, what we normally think of as church services are not available.  Thus my primary concern is to establish a relationship with the couple and maintain contact with them.  I ask them to send me one snapshot of themselves from their wedding day or honeymoon.  When they do, I write them a personal letter and include a picture of Thelma and me with our grandchildren.  I invite them to come by the chapel for a "cup of coffee" when they can.

 

Not many return to the chapel in person.  Many do send letters along with their snapshots, and often these letters include warm expressions of having felt deeply moved by their ceremony.  Some couples do come for a visit.  One of these visits stands out in my mind.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Kataoka returned to Kitakyushu from his Osaka job location in order for her to be with her mother for the birth of their first baby, due in about a month.  They greeted me with hugs -- not the usual greeting for Japanese! -- in expressing their delight at seeing me again.  Their words of appreciation for their wedding ceremony were quite overwhelming.  "We are so glad we came to this chapel and met you!  Your ceremony was so beautiful.  We have watched the video again and again, and we always cry!  All our friends were deeply moved by the beauty of the church wedding and they want to have their weddings here too!"

 

But Mrs. Kataoka expressed fear about her impending childbirth.  What if something goes wrong? What if the baby is not right? -- surely normal concerns for a first time mother.  Here was an opportunity to express the love of God to them.  Right there in the office, with the chapel manager looking on, I prayed for Mrs. Kataoka and the baby.  Both she and her husband cried.  Tears ran in streams down her cheeks, and both of them left with smiles and many words of thanks.

 

"Churches are being built with the world's money!" I said in the first article.  "But do they do 'churchy' things in them?" someone might wonder with genuine concern.  In John and Lucille Graybill's case, permission to conduct church services in the chapel has been granted.  The Graybills invite their couples to these services.  A few have come.

 

Recently I conducted a dedication service for a new chapel where the owner gave permission to use the chapel freely for services.  The local missionaries who have taken the responsibility for the weddings will be holding Bible studies for the hotel personnel and will be bringing their church members for support in evangelistic outreach from the chapel into the community.  Such examples of what we usually think of as "church" are quite rare in wedding chapels.  In my case, I have conducted Christmas worship services at the year's end.  One of these was for a company who brought their 200 employees to experience a Christmas candlelight service!  I am currently asking our manager for his cooperation in beginning an informal Sunday evening service that will feature hymns and scriptural meditation.  We are also discussing the possibility of inviting the couples to return upon the birth of a child for a service of blessing for their babies. 

 

Such attempts at follow-up require a great deal of effort and time.  We solicit your prayers that doors will be open for us to be able to establish God's kingdom in the hearts of the couples we contact. 

 

September 20, l998 marked the completion of the second year of our chapel's existence.  I have conducted 400 weddings in these two years.  I have held, perhaps, 200 orientation sessions during that time.  (Some orientations include several couples.)  This means I have sung, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" at least 600 times in two years!  (This song is used in most chapel weddings throughout Japan because the tune is well known to the Japanese people.  Thus, it is a point of contact.)  After conducting three, four, or five weddings in one day -- this is the case quite often on Saturdays and Sundays -- I am tired!  However, I always feel a sense of delight in the privilege of declaring the Living God and His Son, Jesus Christ, to people who have never heard before!

 

The brother of one of the brides came to me after one ceremony.  He declared himself a Christian -- a very rare happening -- and said, "I'm so glad my family could hear your message.  It was wonderful!"

 

We "shower" the couple on the front steps of the chapel with flower petals, not rice.  One day I noticed a little boy standing still while laughter rang out around him, staring at the church, his eyes lifted to the cross high above.  What was he thinking?  I wonder even now.  I couldn't help but cry out in my heart, "O, God, imprint the Cross upon his soul for eternity!"

 

A middle-aged man and woman who had both lost their spouses came to be married.  After the ceremony the lady said, "Young couples need to hear before they are married what you say during the orientation time.  It was very good."

 

One young man said to the staff member in charge of guiding him and his fiancee through the wedding and banquet application process, "In the orientation time I felt that my soul was washed clean."  One young lady said following the orientation, "My fiancee and I had talked together several times how we would like a wedding with true meaning and with the minister putting his heart into our special time.  We have found that here."

 

Ceremonies are not without some very interesting happenings!  Sometimes the groom is so nervous he cannot even remember he is supposed to step forward to receive his bride when she and her father stop at the top of the aisle.  One bride bent her knees for the kiss instead of bending them for the lifting of the veil.  The groom had to go down with her to accomplish his mission!  One groom got entangled in the bride's veil and could not follow through on the kiss.  The audience, naturally, burst into laughter!  One groom was a young police officer who had been disciplined to respond to his superiors clearly and firmly.  When I said, "Do you promise . . . ?" he shouted, "I do!" with all his might!  His exclamation reverberated off the walls of the chapel!  When his bride heard his response, she burst into tears!  Evidently she was overwhelmed by his earnestness!  Later the superior of the young police officer approached me and volunteered that he felt deeply moved by the service.

 

One junior high teacher brought her tennis club of 15 girls to her wedding.  They were stone still and wide-eyed at the solemnity and beauty before them.  What impression might these girls have received from the genuinely Christian ceremony, I still wonder.

 

I echo the words of a well-known Japanese minister:  "When I pray a blessing upon the couple in their ceremony, I am blessing also their families in the name of Jesus.  And, through their families, I am praying a blessing upon the nation of Japan."

 

O, God, bless Japan!  And help your servants declare your salvation message effectively while this unique door of wedding ministry is still open!

 

 

 

Doyle C. Book                                       Revised October 1998

 

 

Postscript

 

Since weddings fall on most Sunday mornings, I am seldom able to attend the traditional church service.  How will Christians who think of 11:00 a.m. Sunday as "The Sacred Hour" evaluate such a situation?  There is room for concern here, and I do not take the fact of my absences lightly.  However, as a student of missiology, I am convinced that, to win the world, we must go where the world is.  We must meet them on their "turf" to be able to relate to them. 

 

For many Christians it seems that the Sunday morning worship service is merely a cozy nest that results in very few attempts to reach out to a lost world during the following week.   I go to that lost world Sunday mornings to conduct "evangelistic services" where up to 300 non-Christians gather. Japanese unbelievers see no reason to come to the traditional church.  In addition, most Japanese Christians seem to have little or no strategy for reaching their society for Christ.  In fact, it seems that most of them do not even believe it is possible to win their families and friends for Jesus.  God has opened the door to help make the church attractive again to unbelievers.  He has placed on me the urgency of walking through that door. 

 

The church must meet people "out there," at the point of their felt needs -- where marriages take place.  I am called to leave the place, which is, for many Christians, coffee times and soothing sermons, and where little takes place to compel believers to establish the Kingdom of God in their society during the week.  I am attempting, in my small way, to declare that Kingdom into the lives of people who have no awareness of the Living God.  For the present, this is my mission.  Pray for me that I will be refreshed in my spirit by my own worship times and by occasional fellowship in my local church.  --dcb