Cover Letter for #5 and #6, Wedding Ceremony (J) (R)

In forming this ceremony, I solicited suggestions and corrections from more than six different Japanese people, including three non-Christians.  A college chaplain also involved in wedding evangelism provided good insights.  One of the readers was a top-ranked editor of the Asahi Shinbun and an expert in sentence structure and word nuances.  This is not to say that the content of this ceremony is better than that of someone else.  It is to say, however, that this manuscript most likely can be trusted to be linguistically correct and culturally appropriate.

Please consider where I am coming from in this particular approach to "preaching" the Gospel. The thoughts I share here represent some of my central convictions concerning communicating the Gospel across cultures. 

One aspect of my ceremony is admittedly quite different from the approach of most others.  I have chosen to put the main part of the "message" I wish to communicate at the very beginning in the form of a "setsumei."  I have taken this approach at the urging of an elderly, highly popular and respected Japanese minister who has done wedding evangelism for many years.  He points out that Japanese are much more ready to listen to an "explanation" than to "preaching."  It is in these opening statements that my attempt to communicate a message is focused primarily. 

Concerning this "message," my goal is to draw the hearers' minds to consider the nature of God.  I try to express Him as living and personal.  I am not interested in trying to state or explain the entire scope of the Gospel.  I am likewise not interested in presenting merely a "nice meditation" -a pleasing homily-even on the subject of “biblical love.”

After 32 years in Japan, I am convinced that evangelism must begin with an explanation of who God is, and that trying to explain the work of Christ to first?time hearers is, generally, premature.  This is especially true in a strange setting like a Christian wedding where the audience is already uneasy about what to expect and where the time is so severely limited.

I try to reinforce this message later when I speak directly to the couple.  I try to make my words very personal and warm, pointing them to the living God who wants to walk with them in life.  This is a reference to the words already shared with them in an orientation time on a previous day.

Concerning this orientation time, please keep in mind that it is in this meeting with the couple that my main "evangelistic thrust" takes place.  Although the meeting is called "orientation" (it should not be called "counseling"), it is here that I introduce the person of the Lord Jesus and the meaning of the Cross.  This is in the context of explaining the order of service, talking at length about the sacred vows, and giving some practical advice on married life.  (See my orientation notes and the booklet that I give to the couple.)

In the ceremony I have chosen not to give a "homily" or "exposition" on some Scripture passage.  I feel a clear statement of the nature of God is much more important, and most attempts at commenting on a Scripture or similar kinds of "teachings" will be, for the most part, incomprehensible to first time hearers, or will merely be passed off as another "nice talk."  My comments on Ephesians 5 might be thought to contradict this policy.  But these comments are a clarification of the passage, and, without them, the passage should not be used at all. 

By this I mean that I object strongly to using "shitagau" or "tsukaeru" without adequate explanation of the words in this cultural context where the idea still persists that the man is superior to the woman or that she exists to do the bidding of the man. 

My definition of "tsukaeru" might be questioned, but I believe it is closer to the intent of Scripture in regard to the true love bond of a man and woman than is the discriminatory tone of the word used without explanation.

I refer to the Ephesians passage for two reasons only, first, in order to emphasize the man's duty in the marriage relationship --that is, before the wife is required to "obey," the husband must exhibit the traits of truly loving and caring for her -- and, second, to point out that the God who made us and who made marriage cares about and speaks to this area of our lives.  Thus its use is consistent with my theme of declaring the nature of the living God.

I assure you that I seek to be constantly aware of the sovereignty of the Holy Spirit in this matter of "preaching," and I acknowledge that He can take any of our efforts and do His special work.  But as a student of missiology and a teacher of cross cultural communication, I am convinced that the Holy Spirit asks us to evaluate adequately various cultural factors, including the mental orientation of the people to whom we wish to communicate.  It is on this basis that I have attempted earnestly, first, to put the ceremony into the linguistic and cultural idiom of the hearers.  I then try to focus on the part of the Gospel that I see as essential in order for Japanese to understand and respond to its message --the nature of the living God.

 There is a second aspect of attempting to evangelize through weddings, one which might be just as crucial as trying to "preach" a message.  I feel it urgent to try to create an atmosphere in the service so beautiful and meaningful for the hearers that they will feel delighted with their first church experience.  It is my prayer that they will say, "Hey, church is nice!" and thus become open to going to church again at the next opportunity, at which time they will hear a bit more and, hopefully, be drawn another step closer to accepting what they hear.  Here again, I feel this aspect of my "wedding ministry" is more important than trying to explain the Gospel in a limited time. 

To create this atmosphere, I put my whole heart into this one ceremony and into my words to the couple, as if there were no other ceremony before or after. 

It is essential to remember that we, as carriers of The Message, must try to avoid giving the impression to the listeners, in our eagerness to "preach" the Gospel, that we are holding them captive and thus leave a negative impression in their minds which might close the door to future invitations to church.

I am not suggesting that my approach is the only model worthy of consideration.  I offer the manuscript, and this letter of explanation, for dialogue and for those whom you might find are in need of a "ready-made" ceremony. 

You are free to share this ceremony with others, if you feel it helpful to do so.  In that event, however, I ask that you also give a copy of this cover letter.

The time needed for the ceremony is about 30 minutes, from the entrance of the minister to the exit of the couple.  Should it seem necessary to make it a bit shorter, one could leave out one verse of each of the first two hymns.

Sincerely,

Doyle C. Book               November 1998